This morning’s headline was based on a true story
Resemblances to persons living were illusory
Maintain a tone neutral & non-judgmental
Don’t pick a fight, but don’t be gentle.

Following politics is like following sports
It’s about backing the right horse
And shooting the lame horse
“In point of fact,” “Let me be clear,” “As a matter of course”
I’m sure everybody’s doing their best, and falling short.
I bet someone’ll act. Somebody else’ll report.

Confrontational! Well, that’s rich.
I could tap out, or I could just stand here and bitch.
I could work my ass off, and never get rich
I could run a scam, it could go off without a hitch.

So I opened up a business called “Critter Gitter Pest Control”
Advertised my success
20,000 units sold
On 12 blow-up sex dolls, tied to balloons, rising in the sky
Someone calls, reports the rapture
Only the holy get to die.
Only the sinners survive.

I saw a man with a grey ponytail pull off his belt and start whipping his friend
I hope I never play Eugene again
Is the west coast promise so strong you don’t even have to try?
I smell a dream dying, die dream die!

I need something saltier in this bloody mary
So many obituaries, so many people getting married
I hope the latter says for all his faults, at least he’s not a liar
I hope the former says he was an asshole, but he was a pretty good songwriter

Some people liked him from some band
Some people hated him in that other band
Maybe some of you like me right here where I stand
Well. Hard times.
But I can really dance like a man.